Thank you so much for the abhorrent chewing gum that you gave me last Wednesday. It is amazing to know that when I want to cure the bad taste in my mouth I can rely on you to provide me with the detestable taste of garlic and onion flavored chewing gum. I warned you that my mouth tasted and smelled horrible and you decideed to tell me that you could help, but you purposely made it worse. As a fellow member of society, I recommend that you either fall of the end of the earth or find an isolated fortress of solitude to live out the rest of your days far away from any other human being.
Hatefully yours,
Will Reid
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